Forgivable Blackness: Barack Obama Must Be Stopped

Barack Obama must be stopped.

After his historic win in the Iowa Caucus, the tubes and the 24-hour news networks were buzzing with talk of a potential Obama presidency. People of all shades were gushing about Obama as an agent for change. I must admit that I do not share the same enthusiasm that others do for the Senator's campaign.

Conventional wisdom holds that a young-ish, politically aware Black man would be nothing but ecstatic about the possibility of electing our first ever Negro-in-Chief. Nothing could be further from the truth. It only takes a few moments of reflection to realize what a disaster an Obama Presidency would be for Black America.

For years, while Black folks have cited the institutionalized racism that pervades housing, employment, health care, education, legislation and law enforcement in this country, White Americans have responded in turn with their standard canards about how Black people need to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, or how it really isn't about race in this country as much as it is about class. Nothing would validate this short-sighted line of reasoning more than a person of color becoming the single most powerful human being on the planet.

Barack Obama would immediately abolish the concept of black victim-hood without abolishing any of the actual black victims. Americans already turn a blind eye to the ongoing plight of the Native American just because some tribes have casinos. Can you imagine how easily the concerns of the Black American would be dismissed?

"The Federal and state governments failed us during Hurricane Katrina and now they're destroying perfectly good public housing so that we have no home to return to."

"Why don't you write a letter to your homeboy? You know? The Black President?"

"Thousands of African-Americans were disenfranchised in both the 2000 and 2004 Presidential elections and no one has ever been held accountable for that."

"Get over it, already! You've got a Black President now. What more do you people want?"

"Umm...jobs and health care maybe?"

"Jesus, you've taken over golf and the White House. Isn't that enough?"

How can Black people complain about the man keeping us down when the man himself is Black? I wonder if Senator Obama understands the full ramifications of his actions? If elected, he would:

• Single-handedly destroy the careers of Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. (I disagree with Al on a lot of issues, but there’s no denying the fact that the guy is entertaining. Did you see him during the debates in 2004? It was like Chris Rock grew a perm and ran for President.)

• Render moot one of the most potent weapons in the arsenal of this country’s minorities; white guilt.

• Stop the rise of the dark-skinned Negro in its tracks. The careers of actors like Don Cheadle, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and Jamie Foxx would stall. (On the flip-side, a Michael Mann-directed, Obama biopic starring Will Smith would probably be in production before Inauguration Day.)

• Be responsible for getting a lot of White people’s asses kicked. In Chapter 1 of my book, Making Friends with Black People, I wrote the following:

Black people don’t get to be President, and white people don’t get to use the word nigger. Can we just call it even now?

Sooner or later, some over-exuberant White person would use my own logic against me and get punched in the stomach for their troubles.

By supporting Barack Obama, you probably think you’re voting for change. The reality is, you’re voting for chaos.

Oh, and there’s also the fact that Obama wants to continue the current illegal, immoral occupation of Iraq, has threatened Iran and Pakistan, isn’t for universal health care, and doesn’t want homosexuals to have the same rights as all other Americans.

Kucinich ’08!!!

Nick Adams is a comedian and author. For more semi-interesting content, check out NickAdamsWeb.com and read his column here every other Monday.

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