The Skinny: Feel My Cool

You know...thank God for the word douchebag.

Let’s be honest -- there is no better description of guys who are incredibly painful, but have no sense of their own painfulness. And today, I’d like to add two names to the growing list of douchebags I’ve encountered in my life.

Monday night, I was driving home from the grocery store and listening to Indie 103.1 FM, which is arguably the best radio station in Los Angeles and maybe even the country. I’m a big fan of many of the station's shows -- Jonesey’s jukebox, Smoke-In with Native Wayne, Watusi Rodeo with Chris Morris, etc. In general, this station manages to do something that no other radio station is able to...play great music with respectable hosts who come across as truly authentic. To me, indie represents everything that is not Ryan Seacrest and mainstream.

That is, except for, a little show they air on Monday night called “Feel My Heat.”

The show is hosted by Hollywood sugarballs Danny Masterson and Brent Bolthouse and should be renamed “Feel My Cool.” Every Monday night, these two cocky dicks release their heat in affected raspy cool-guy voices and we are supposed to consider this indie. Uh-uh, no way, these guys are the opposite of indie!

Brent Bolthouse has created an army of one-syllabled bars that are a pain in the ass to get into and yet, so easy to leave. I’ve been to Hyde. If you haven’t, let me be the first to tell you that it blows. It’s a tiny room with a cramped little bar full of wannabees looking to rub shoulders with young and desperate Hollywood. Also, Brent is on MTV’s “reality” hit show, The Hills, sporting a haircut that actually makes him look like the mushroom cap of a penis.

On Jonesey’s Jukebox, Steve Jones always talks about writing a book about what is rock’n’roll and what isn’t. He is and Brent Bolthouse isn’t. It’s that simple.

As for Danny M., any association with Ashthon Kutcher and Wilmer Valderrama already destroys any indie status, but there is something particularly painful about listening to this dude. You get the sense that he feels like everything that comes out of his mouth is cool, but it’s because of this that he’s so insanely uncool (no matter how many times he can reference Silver Lake). It’s like a comedian who tries too hard to be funny...there is a certain desperation in it all, just as a guy who tilts his baseball cap to the side (a look the Dan-man proudly sports in a pic on the Indie website).

So, I kindly ask those folks over at Indie 103.1 to consider feeling someone else’s heat on Monday nights and let Bolthouse and Masterson join Seacreast over at KIIS FM, where all three douchebaggy names belong.

Mike Bender is a screenwriter who enjoys awkward moments and actually seeks them out. He has recently written about the Gay Seat and a letter to the bathroom drunk guy. His column run every other Thursday.

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