Period Pants

Thanks to the male-oriented name of our site, people might think that our content skews a little bit toward the male point of view. But, that's not really the case. As proof of our equal opportunity hilarity, we offer up this new video from The Hazzards for their song "I Perioded My Pants."

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Dan Bialek vs. America: Houseguest Paul

Houseguest Paul: Better Than A Pit Bull

Going on the road kind of sucks. Not only do I miss my girlfriend, our house and my cat and fish, but I also don’t like leaving them alone in for weeks at a time not knowing if something bad is going to happen to them because I’m not there.

On this leg of the tour I came up with a solution to this problem. Well, sort of.

My friend Paul is an out-of-work actor/security guard who also happens to be a weapons specialist and gun enthusiast. He was in between places to stay right before I left for Oklahoma two weeks ago, so I decided to offer him discounted rent on our exercise room for the duration of my trip as long as he promised to feed my pets, watch our house during the day and help my girlfriend with a few household chores.

I also asked that Paul use his digital camera to send me little video progress reports every few days to let me know how things were going.

Here are the first batch of them . Enjoy.


Part 1 – Meet Paul



Part 2 – Welcome To Paul’s Crib



Part 3 – Urine & Coyotes



Part 4 – Tai Chi Sunrise

Dan Bialek is a comedian and writer who is currently doing an independent national standup comedy tour. He can be reached through his website www.danvsamerica.com. The website houses a huge free arcade that has weekly high score contests in which you can win fabulous prizes such as a plastic masturbating monkey or some of the Starbucks coffee beans that Dan’s mother is constantly unloading on him.

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The Walk of Shame Anthem

It may have taken an energy drink company cutting a big check and a cast of hundreds, but at least we finally have gotten the chance to see a video based on one of the great traditions in hooking up - the walk of shame.

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Bill O'Reilly Freaks Out

Back before he was the king of the conservative universe, Bill O'Reilly spent his days reporting for another hard-hitting news outlet
- Inside Edition. And as you can see in this clip, things didn't always go quite as O'Reilly would have liked them to so sometimes he had to call his producer a "fucking asshole." Hey, it happens.

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How To Break Up With Your Girlfriend

We're pretty sure that there's a popular belief that breaking up is hard to do. But, it turns out that's not really the case. As long as you follow the 64 easy steps outlined in this animated guide for breaking up with your girlfriend, you will find yourself single again in no time (give or take a couple years).

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How To Creep Out Your Mom On Mother's Day

Call us old fashioned, but we celebrated Mother's Day with a simple gesture of sending flowers. That's because we don't love our mother nearly as much as this guy who decided to go all out and create his own version of a 1980's hair band music video proclaiming his love for his mother.

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The Office Dick

We're sure you're fired up for tonight's episode of The Office, so to get you in the mood here's a look at The Office Dick, inspired the conflict between Michael and Stanley in last week's episode. Oh, did we forget to mention that in this case Michael is an actual dick?

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Happy MILF Day

Mother's Day isn't for a few more days, but Comedy.com and J Chris Newberg have gotten a jump start on the festivities with this new insanely catchy song and video that pays tribute to all the MILFs out there celebrating Mother's Day.

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GTA Line Losers

Ever wonder what the guys who camp out to buy video games the day they are released think about sex, drugs, AIDS, Jews, beastiality and other pressing issues facing society today? Well, luckily Comedy.com's new video game reporter (and Whip It Out favorite) Jacob Sirof hit the line at a store on the eve of Grand Theft Auto's release to find out.

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69 With A Chance Of Sex

This clip features a Minnesota weatherman who manages to work the phrase "69 sex" into his excited weather report. That's pretty much all you need to know.

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Zach Galifianakis Visits The Cat Chriopractor

There's a pretty simple formula for getting us to pay attention to your video - just put Zach Galifianakis in it. Bobby Tisdale recognized that and as a result, the first episode of his new Cat Chiropractor series is posted above. It features Galifianakis bringing his cat (aptly named "Cat Stevens") in for a check up.

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The Real Sex And The City Movie

The Sex and the City movie hits theaters later this month, but we doubt it will bring with it dialogue as accurate as the conversation the girls have in this video. The only thing missing is an appearance from John Corbett saying, "Hey, I used to be in this amazing show called Northern Exposure, but then I got old and needed a gig to pay for my weed habit so I had to take this gig pretending to sleep with a horse-faced actress every week."

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Cagney, Lacey, and Farting?

Ok, so here's an odd selection for you. It's a clip from the British television series The Graham Norton Show that features Cagney and Lacey (yes, they're apparently still alive and getting booked as guests on British talk shows) in a bit in which they are supposed to be pretending to be in the bathroom farting up a storm in order to capture the "hilarious" reactions of the other unsuspecting women in the bathroom who are clearly actresses in this clearly staged (and poorly conceived) bit. We're not sure if it's funny, but it seemed so surreal that it's worth a post.

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The Matrix Meets Family Guy

If we told you that this video features audio from The Matrix trailer synched up with animated footage from Family Guy, would we have to tell you anything else to convince you to check it out? Yeah, that's what we thought.

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Hungry Man On The Street

The typical man-on-the-street video features a comedian asking innocent people surprising questions and attempting to make them feel awkward and/or say funny stuff. But the guys at Black 20 have found a much more practical use for the man-on-the-street interview as they've discovered it's a great way to get yourself a free lunch.

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Facials: Yay or Nay?

The Daily Bedpost recently took to the streets to ask women about a crucial issue of sexual etiquette - facials. Shockingly, it turns out most women are not fans getting a guy's love juice (or "kids" as one guy adorably refers to it) lovingly squirted on to their faces.

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Zach Galifianakis Drinks More Vodka

Zach Galifianakis and his pals Tim and Eric are back again with some more Absolut vodka-inspired antics. This time around, the trio heads to the beach for an afternoon of relaxing oddball fun.

RELATED POSTS:
The boys vodka debut.
Zach goes between two ferns with Jimmy Kimmel.
The Snuggler.

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Owen Benjamin in House Bunny

It always amuses us when one of our comic pals surfaces in the trailer for a move which we didn't realize they were in (What can we say? We're easily amused). The latest example of this is none other than the appearance of Owen Benjamin the above trailer for the upcoming Anna Faris comedy House Bunny.

RELATED POSTS:
Owen goes to Gaytown.
Owen's bathroom rules.
Owen talks dirty.

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Forgivable Blackness: Videos Blogged - Riskay

I blogged about this over on my site, and I also wrote about it for my gig over at The Daily Fix. But I think that it merits further study. First, let's get you caught up.



0:00-0:20
As an Isaac Hayes fan, I'm not averse to hearing a long verbal intro to a song. But this one isn't particularly inspired. Run of the mill, Rikki Lake stuff. But, it does set up that you're about to hear another "somebody done somebody wrong song." Also, just hearing a woman berate a man like this just makes me feel sorry for the poor sap who's got to come home to this. You're bringing me down, Riskay.


0:20-0:28
And we're off.

0:36
Again. And again.

O:55
Yes. That is a fat man wearing a Snickers jacket.

1:12
OK, I'm from North Carolina. I'm pretty familiar with country. But I've never heard the phrase "dirty-foot bitches" in my life.

1:31
"Don't fuck hers and try to fuck mine." I don't know if I've ever heard a woman refer to her vagina with that particular pronoun before.

2:15
We get to hear the guy's perspective now. This saves us from having to hear the annoying answer record, "Let Me Dick Yo Smell." He promptly threatens to punch her in the eye. So, he's a fat guy who wears Snickers jackets, enjoys bottle service with strippers, comes home late and threatens to assault his girlfriend. Nice catch you've got there, Riskay. To be fair, she did threaten to shoot him earlier in the song. I'm sure these crazy kids will work it out.

2:53
Ladies. Do not try this at home. If you throw your boyfriend's iPhone off the balcony, you'll be the next thing going over the railing.

3:12
Now she's pouring bleach all over his clothes. That's real close to Left Eye Lopez territory. Kind of a downer end to an upbeat song. It's like when Sharon Stone gets all drugged out and pathetic in Casino. That's usually when I turn it off.

Here I could wax poetic about how this kind of lowest common denominator music is eroding our once-proud Black people from the inside out. Or, I could take the opposite tact and paint Riskay as a profane, feminist genius who's song slaps America in the face and kicks a completely sexist genre right in the balls. Neither of those is even close to being true. The truth is, she's an underground Florida rapper who recorded a silly, catchy song with a shocking lyric. Bounce to this.

Nick Adams is a comedian and author who has recently written about the joke he wrote at his mother's funeral and a letter to the Mayor . For more semi-interesting content, check out NickAdamsWeb.com and read his column here every other Monday.

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Cereal Mascot Group Therapy

Remember those beloved cereal characters that convinced you that eating cookies or artificially neon loops for breakfast was a good idea as long as you threw them in a bowl of milk (which you would inevitably throw out most of the milk anyway)? Well, as this video shows, it turns out that those characters had a lot of their own issues they were trying to work out when they weren't busy pitching you product.

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